This is an episode from my personal life. Not sure whether people would like it. But,still I would share it. Six years ago, on the same date 19-03-2011, I was in love with a girl, but she was not. It was just a one sided love. I faced rejection from a girl for the first time in my life, a few days ago. Actually, I did not know about her. Fell in love with her believing her to be innocent and nice character and not because of the so called external appearance or fairness. But, that was her personal decision to reject me. I can never influence her decision.
I have never had any proposal to girls previously. So, I was unable to bear the pain. I decided to show my true love to her. But, before that I asked her, is she already committed. I was ready to leave her, if she had said that she is committed. But, I got a big no as response. That made my inner heart to feel that I still have a chance and did not want to leave her at any cost. I was afraid to get her phone number to make a call to her. That time, I was the representative of my class. So, I just had the mail id's of classmates and that girl too. If whats-app was present that time, I would have got her number may be.
Unfortunately, she was not even in Facebook during that time, which was an easy platform for youth to get in relationship with others socially. But, I did not have that prevail-age too. Gmail was the one who created a sufficient medium for me to chat. Since, she was a hostler, she doesn't often check the mails or messages due to the strict rules imposed on hostel may be. In that gmail chat I had, I used to ask her the reason for rejecting me. She did not respond properly and I should have concluded the chat. But, few days before 19th march, there were a lot of bad things happening around me which kept me frustrated.
So, this rejection added to that, In utter frustration, I did not recognize what was happening, out of my control, I wanted her to get me poison, so that I would die. Instead of saying poison, I told the word quarter. I even felt alcohol is poisonous during that time. The next day, I realized that how bad that message was. I sent her many sorry messages. But, those sorry messages did not even create a little impact as that of that suicide message. There was a mystery involved in it. When we move on to that date 19th March 2011. It was our 2nd semester and some cycle test was scheduled. HOD met me before the exam.
He asked me about the lovers present in my class, I told that I did not know and I will investigate and let him know. I told this to my close friends, they asked me about what HOD told, that guy replied that you were the one who had lovers. But, HOD's question was lovers, not about single side love. I wrote the exam and HOD came to class and told about the message he received. The girl whom i loved her name was mentioned and an indirect sarcasm was given to me as EEE don. I still did not know who was the person who sent that message.
HOD began to investigate that girl and she openly forwarded him the messages I sent to her. I did not know that whether she received those sorry messages and she admitted that I was the cuplrit and she was innocent. I accepted the blame and admitted that there was no mistake from her side. He began to beat me severly, I accepted it as the mistake was completely on my side. He took me to Principal room and told that this needs to be informed to my parents. I never want my parents to stand in front of that HOD feeling shame for the mistake committed by me and previously also I have never let them down in any case.
I begged HOD not to enclose this to my parents and I told that I would never disturb that girl in future. The overall support from the staffs were for me and most of the staffs had good impression on me Especially from Vice Principal sir. He told HOD not to make this a big issue, he looks like a good boy and give him a chance. But, I should thank the person who sent that message, in the later part i realised that she is never suitable for me and I also got new friends because of that incident almost all the boys in my department become my friends.They might have made fun of me initially, but they were the one who stood besides me during my tough times. The day has crossed six years so far, but still not able to forget it. After that I had many crushes in my life but never had intentions to get committed to any of them.
I have never had any proposal to girls previously. So, I was unable to bear the pain. I decided to show my true love to her. But, before that I asked her, is she already committed. I was ready to leave her, if she had said that she is committed. But, I got a big no as response. That made my inner heart to feel that I still have a chance and did not want to leave her at any cost. I was afraid to get her phone number to make a call to her. That time, I was the representative of my class. So, I just had the mail id's of classmates and that girl too. If whats-app was present that time, I would have got her number may be.
Unfortunately, she was not even in Facebook during that time, which was an easy platform for youth to get in relationship with others socially. But, I did not have that prevail-age too. Gmail was the one who created a sufficient medium for me to chat. Since, she was a hostler, she doesn't often check the mails or messages due to the strict rules imposed on hostel may be. In that gmail chat I had, I used to ask her the reason for rejecting me. She did not respond properly and I should have concluded the chat. But, few days before 19th march, there were a lot of bad things happening around me which kept me frustrated.
So, this rejection added to that, In utter frustration, I did not recognize what was happening, out of my control, I wanted her to get me poison, so that I would die. Instead of saying poison, I told the word quarter. I even felt alcohol is poisonous during that time. The next day, I realized that how bad that message was. I sent her many sorry messages. But, those sorry messages did not even create a little impact as that of that suicide message. There was a mystery involved in it. When we move on to that date 19th March 2011. It was our 2nd semester and some cycle test was scheduled. HOD met me before the exam.
He asked me about the lovers present in my class, I told that I did not know and I will investigate and let him know. I told this to my close friends, they asked me about what HOD told, that guy replied that you were the one who had lovers. But, HOD's question was lovers, not about single side love. I wrote the exam and HOD came to class and told about the message he received. The girl whom i loved her name was mentioned and an indirect sarcasm was given to me as EEE don. I still did not know who was the person who sent that message.
HOD began to investigate that girl and she openly forwarded him the messages I sent to her. I did not know that whether she received those sorry messages and she admitted that I was the cuplrit and she was innocent. I accepted the blame and admitted that there was no mistake from her side. He began to beat me severly, I accepted it as the mistake was completely on my side. He took me to Principal room and told that this needs to be informed to my parents. I never want my parents to stand in front of that HOD feeling shame for the mistake committed by me and previously also I have never let them down in any case.
I begged HOD not to enclose this to my parents and I told that I would never disturb that girl in future. The overall support from the staffs were for me and most of the staffs had good impression on me Especially from Vice Principal sir. He told HOD not to make this a big issue, he looks like a good boy and give him a chance. But, I should thank the person who sent that message, in the later part i realised that she is never suitable for me and I also got new friends because of that incident almost all the boys in my department become my friends.They might have made fun of me initially, but they were the one who stood besides me during my tough times. The day has crossed six years so far, but still not able to forget it. After that I had many crushes in my life but never had intentions to get committed to any of them.
Thulasi's other side has been revealed by him.
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